The Feldman Dynamic

When performance artist Brian Feldman lived in Orlando, I tried to sketch as many of his performances as I could. Nearly two years ago he moved to Washington, D.C where he has only done one performance piece, a “friend building” experience called “BFF” for the Capital Fringe Festival. I lost all contact with him after the move since my primary interest was always in sketching and writing about his performance concepts. Orlando lost an unusual and unique artist when Brian left, and I lost a major source of inspiration.

The Feldman Dynamic” was first performed in 2003 and started Brian on the road to becoming a performance artist. I didn’t start following Brian until 2009 when I started this blog. I knew about the Dynamic, but had never seen the original performance which was part of the New York International Fringe Festival. The members of his family have since moved in different directions. His parents are divorced. His mother is a breast cancer survivor and his sister has been married and now lives south of Orlando. Nearly a thousand miles separate the family’s daily lives.

When I got to the Jewish Community Center in Maitland, I had to have my drivers license scanned at the security desk in order to enter. Outside the Harriet and Hymen Lake Cultural Auditorium I saw Brian putting fliers on a table outside the auditorium entrance. He was a nervous ball of energy. I was pleased to see signs that announced “No Google Glass allowed inside the Theater!” No aspect of the performance was permitted to be filmed, but sketching was strongly encouraged during the pre-show announcement. I laughed out loud.

On stage the dining table was being set up and Brian’s mom, Marilyn Wattman-Feldman, was at the back of the auditorium warming up dishes in the kitchen.  Brian’s dad, Edward Feldman, was busy trying to get connected to the internet. He had me flip through a large portfolio full of his art workAdrienne McIntosh, Brian’s sister, was trying to get the internet password from JCC security. Brian helped me set up a crude barrier that would keep the audience from noticing me as I sketched from stage left. The resulting structure was rickety and I was afraid the whole time that it might collapse into the audience. Luckily it held up. An old radio was found backstage and placed on Edward’s computer table. Brian let me know that it was the same one from the last show he had performed there, a JCC production of Neil Simon’s “Brighton Beach Memoirs”15 years earlier.  Both he and Adrienne were child performers.

At 7:15pm the house opened and the audience entered. The family walked on stage together and sat down for dinner. Edward spent much of the time standing and serving food. A bottle of sparkling cider couldn’t be opened since no one had a bottle opener. Edward put the bottle on the edge of the stage and said, “I bet the bottle will magically open itself.” Sure enough, Carl from the audience got up and opened the bottle with his utility knife. For some reason Brian was wearing a tuxedo he had rented for Amanda and Matt Simantov‘s wedding. I knew this because he had e-mailed me and asked if I wanted to rent the same tux for the wedding. I stuck with my suit which I discovered had paint stains on the pant legs. I don’t think anyone at the wedding noticed.

Brian is a very private person. For one of his recent performances,he stayed off Facebook for an entire year. It looks like that performance lasted for four months. Then Brian explained that Facebook
only lets events last for four months. Since he didn’t log on to
the site for the entire year, he couldn’t keep changing the start and end
dates to cover the full 12 months. Yet another hangup with the site.
I had no idea what life in D.C. has been like for him. The family chatted about films they had seen. Brian has seen tons of films and his mother has seen maybe 2 in the last year. He stood up midway through the meal feeling he needed to make an announcement to is family. His father asked, “Are you getting married?” “Wow, that makes sense”, I thought. Brian let them know that he had been fired from his job. He showed them the letter of termination. They read it in silence but Edward felt Brian should write a letter of apology and maybe he would be taken back. Brian had fallen asleep at a security job at 2am. “Well, they have to understand, maybe you were tired!” his father consoled. The audience laughed. Brian let them know that he wasn’t asking to move back. He is getting unemployment and actively looking for another job. Performance art would have to wait until he got a full-time job. Adrienne had an announcement as well. She got a promotion at Disney moving from one department to another. She was even getting a raise. Talk about rubbing salt in the wound!

I had a strange dream last night. Brian and I were seated on the ground floor of a parking garage that had been converted into a women’s prison. A woman in an orange jumpsuit had ankle cuffs with a noisy chain and was being escorted up a ramp by an armed guard. Brian was smiling broadly and giving me advice. “You should get a job,” he said. “I work at Full Sail,” I replied. “No, you need to get a full-time job. It has been too long.” It was an odd dream. I have no idea what it means.

After dinner the family stood around the computer looking at family pictures and shots of Adrienne’s dachshund. Before I knew it, they were taking a bow. The audience was maybe a quarter full with most of them being friends and local media. There were plenty of left overs. Edward served me some salad and beef brisket, which was delicious. I topped it off with some apple pie and got back to the sketch. Stage manager Sharli’ Ward was having an animated conversation about Israel with Marilyn. If you didn’t know about The Feldman Dynamic, you missed a personal, unplanned slice of life and some great food! It was theater as life.

Brian Feldman Marries Anybody!

Brian Feldman put up an event page on Facebook announcing that he would marry any woman who showed up to the Orange County Courthouse at 3PM on February 8th to get a marriage license with him. They would then have to wait three days before officially tying the knot in a small room in the marriage license office. Brian said this arbitrary marriage would point out the insanity of a state system that will allow total strangers to get married as long as they are of the opposite sex, while denying marriage to same-sex partners who have been together in a loving relationship for 20 years.
When I arrived at the courthouse, Amanda Chadwick was there waiting for Jeremy Seghers. Jeremy arrived and then a Central Florida News 13 cameraman. We spoke with the cameraman for a while and he told us his first marriage had been a mistake. He said the last nine years of that marriage had felt like he was living with a roommate. Jeremy called Brian to see where he was and he said, “only a few blocks away.” Brian did not have the cash for the marriage license so he was thinking of calling the project off. Jeremy immediately said he would pay the $93.50 for the marriage license, and that he had better show up! When Brian arrived, the news cameraman interviewed him for a while, before we all made our way through security and up to the third floor.
The hallway and inside of the marriage license office was packed full of people. I wedged myself into a corner and started sketching the marriage license counters, figuring I would catch Brian and his future bride when they finished their paperwork. Three woman stood in front of me with every intention of marrying Brian. Julie Norris, a talk show host for Front Porch Radio, with her 5 month old baby strapped to her chest; Hannah Miller, a puppeteer at Pinocchio’s Marionette Theater; and a third woman, Mary Ann Marks, who had heard about the wedding in the newspaper, holding a heart-shaped box of chocolates for Brian. I picked out a delicious round chocolate with caramel inside, after Brian offered them to the crowd. Elizabeth Maupin, the theater critic for the Orlando Sentinel, was also on hand to watch the license signing. She has known Brian since he was a child performer and has always had an interest in his career.
Brian purchased a bottle of Aquafina from the vending machine in the office and then proposed throwing the bottle over his shoulder, having the women catch it like a bouquet. Julie protested, however, thinking her child might get hit in the head. Someone in the crowd suggested he spin the bottle instead, and after a moment’s hesitation, he agreed. The bottle spun about four times on the carpet before settling on Hannah Miller.
After completing the paperwork, the couple sat in a waiting area, while the county workers filed and stamped all the necessary documents. Hannah called her father to tell him the good news. There were three video cameras on her the whole time as she spoke to him on the speaker phone. He took the news well saying he just wanted her to be happy. When he addressed Brian he called him “son.” Brian fielded several interviews. The couple really didn’t talk much.

In a Facebook note, here is what Hannah Miller said about the event…
Why I’m Getting Married To Someone I Don’t Love
We’re doing it for love… just not ours.
I believe in marriage.
I believe that marriage is a public way to declare the very personal commitment that two people make to one another; to proclaim that their hearts are so incomplete without the other that they must legally bind their property and lives to ensure the union’s safety.
I believe that denying same-sex couples the same 1,000+ rights given to couples of opposing genders that choose to marry is tantamount to declaring that GLBT relationships are not valid–or, at the very least, not AS valid as heterosexual relationships. I believe that marriage equality ensures the health and happiness not only of same-sex partners, but also their families. I believe that the denial of marriage rights to GLBT individuals is a denial of the elemental protections the State and Federal government should provide to all individuals, regardless of race, gender, religion, or any other arbitrary defining factor, like sexual orientation.
I am marrying Brian Feldman, a man I don’t love, because I BELIEVE.
I hope you believe too.
Please come to our wedding, 3pm at the Orange County Courthouse in downtown Orlando. And please show how MUCH you believe with careful voting choices, letters declaring your beliefs to your State and Federal representatives, and generous donations to a pro-marriage-equality organization such as Brian’s favorites, below:
Equality Florida
Human Rights Campaign
P.S. When Hannah Miller got back to her car, she found a $28 parking ticket since the meter had just run out. The costs of getting married just keep climbing!

Lotto Pool – Brian Feldman

I traveled to Miami Beach to see Brian Feldman’s first performance there. Brian sat in the lobby of the Carlton Hotel in South Beach 1433 Collins Avenue. There he sat at a small table decorated with Lotto playslips. The goal of this performance was to pool $1 from as many people as possible and then purchase the number of tickets corresponding to the number of people who entered the pool. The hotel owner had reservations about allowing Brian to stage his performance here. He was concerned that it might seem like Brian was selling tickets right in the lobby. Brian had to keep a low profile to keep from being booted out.

This same evening, there was a Pool Art Fair being held in the hotel in conjunction with Art Basel Miami Beach. Art Basel Miami Beachis a huge art fair with gallery owners from around the world displaying their wares. Much of the best art work in the world is flown into Miami for this event and it it almost impossible to see it all. Terry and I both gave Brian a dollar and had to sign a “Lotto Pool” agreement. If one of the lotto tickets purchased won then Brian would purchase a piece of art from the Pool Fair or a parallel fair of Art Basel Miami Beach and he would divide the work by cutting (if a canvas or paper) or breaking (if sculpture or mixed media) the purchased art into the number of pieces corresponding to the number of individuals in the lotto pool.

Part of me wanted to win and another part didn’t want to win. I didn’t want to be a part of destroying a great work of art and yet it might be fun to see some bad art cut up. A friend told me a parable about two women who went before a king both claiming to be a baby’s mother. When the king could not get to the bottom of the issue with just questions, he decided to cut the child in half and give each woman half. One woman pleaded and said she would relinquish her claim if he spared the child’s life. The king then knew she must be the true mother. With that in mind, I let out a sigh of relief when Brian sent me an e-mail informing me that none of the lotto tickets purchased had won. At least I got a decent sketch.

Brian Feldman – Under the Covers

At the first Thursday of this month Brian Feldman held a cabaret by request called “Under the Covers” at the Orlando Museum of Art. Back on the first Thursday in May, Jeremy Seghers performed, an act by the same name, singing cover songs requested by the audience for a Fringe Festival Preview. Brian used Jeremy’s performance as inspiration to literally go under the covers.
Accompanying Brian was Isaac Schankler on a Kurzweil SP-76. The performance was developed and first presented in July of 2009 at the Atlantic Center for the Arts in New Smyrna Beach Florida. When the audience entered the theater, they could faintly make out the form of Brian lying under the covers on a mattress on stage. Isaac introduced the act and sat at the piano. Brian explained that he didn’t actually sleep on a mattress himself, but instead slept on the floor of a friend’s house. He was recently separated from his girlfriend, Jessica, and many of the songs in his first set seemed directed to her. An unexpected development towards the end of the first set was that Jeremy Seghers got on stage and joined Brian to sing a duet. At first, Jeremy just sat on the bed next to Brian’s form hidden by the covers. Then, Jeremy lifted the covers and joined Brian underneath, singing “I Guess That’s Why They Call it the Blues”. This song was a show stopper.
I returned to see his second performance which featured a Queen song requested by Katie Windish from Frames Forever titled “Fat Bottomed Girls”. Don’t ask why she needed to hear that song at this time in her life. After the last song, Brian had to explain that the performance was over since he was still on stage, though under the covers. I am sure some people like myself lingered to see the performance artist in person. But Brian consulted with stage hands and shouted out, “No really, the show is over! Get out of here, people!” When everyone had left, he sprinted into the wings.

Brian Feldman Reads The Orlando Weekly in its Entirety

I arrived at Frames Forever & Art Gallery 941 Orange Avenue Winter Park, to find a small crowd seated in front of a glass storefront window watching as Brian Feldman read the Orlando Weekly in its entirety. He not only read the body copy but also the ads, captions and he would even describe any pictures and art. Three of the people were from the Orlando Weekly Newspaper and they sat and watched for over an hour. Brian spoke into a microphone and the sound mixer Tommy Wingo (in the yellow shirt) supervised as Brian’s voice was amplified crisply on two speakers outside.
The performance commemorates WMFE’s canceling of their newspaper-reading service for the blind on its station due to funding issues.
The store window was masterfully decorated with the current issue of the Orlando Weekly taped up behind Brian and even strewn about on the floor. A classy Greek column was on hand where Brian perched a cup of water for his parched voice. One audience member tapped furiously on his laptop computer and others occasionally texted friends on iPhones. Some people had the newspaper and read along tracking Brian’s progress. The owner of Frames Forever & Art Gallery, Katie Windish, was tweeting about the event to about a thousand people on Brian’s behalf. Katie was also the one who tailored the classy vest Brian was wearing which was also made of newspaper. She confessed that the vest was made from another local rag called the Orlando Sentinel.
The drive home from this event was quite eventful, While driving through Parramore, I was pulled over by a patrol car. “Can I see your License and Registration”, blinking lights, and a flood light in my rear view mirror, the whole deal. After waiting 15 minutes while he looked up my long criminal record he came back and informed me my left brake light was out. He asked if I knew about that, and I did, but I said “no officer”. He said he could give me a $96 ticket for that but he would let me go with a warning this time…

The Chalkboard Exercises


It was six in the morning and I was standing in my driveway waiting for Brian Feldman to pick me up with a U-Haul he had rented. It was still pitch black outside and a deep wet fog made the orange glow of the streetlights quickly fade away as they marched away down the street toward the horizon. I heard the roar of the truck before I saw it. I pulled out my iPhone and flashed it at the oncoming headlights. I had my tablet to sketch with since it is the best option when sketching in low light. Brian had asked me to bring me video camera and tripod as well, so I piled them into the cab. In the back of the U-Haul was a large portable chalkboard. Brian had labored for days to find one since most classrooms have whileboards these days.

I directed Brian on how to get from my place to Universal Studios. There was going to be a Principal’s Appreciation Breakfast at Hard Rock Live. The event began at 7am and Brian wanted to be set up at the entrance writing “I WILL SUPPORT ARTS EDUCATION.” over and over again. When we arrived at the Universal Studios security gate the guards asked us both for our drivers licenses. Brian was asked to open the back of the truck. While he was doing that I was asked who our contact was since our names were not on the list. I told him to ask Brian. Britt Daley, who works for the Orange County Arts Education Center which was the host if the event, was our contact. Brian called her and she scrambled to find out why we were not on the list. It turns out Brian’s name was on a list, just not the one the guard looked at.

We parked behind Hard Rock Live and unloaded the chalkboard which was surprisingly heavy. We wheeled it around to the entrance and set up. CityWalk across the lagoon looked gorgeous in the misty morning fog. I set up the tripod and asked Brian if he had the tapes. He had forgotten to get them. The event guests slowly arrived. Brian started writing and I began sketching. I rather liked the clacking sound the chalk made as it struck the board. Some teachers laughed out loud. But mostly there was the clacking of the chalk and the tapping of my stylus on the tablet. The moist air was making my hand stick to the tablet making it hard to let long lines flow.

When everyone was inside, I went in and stood at the back of the room to listen. The keynote speaker, John Ceschini, spoke about the importance of arts in education. He began with a quote from Yeats, “Education is not the filling of a pail, but the building of a fire.” On the table in front of me there were boxes of crayons and a single tile mosaic with gorgeous blue tiles and several clear spherical tiles. I thought back to a mosaic I had made for my mothers when I was 10 years old. On stage John quoted some more famous minds like Einstein who said,”Imagination is more important than knowledge.” A video was shown of a little girl talking about an abstract painting by Wassily Kandinsky. In it she saw birds, a bridge, a plane, rainbow and a black hole which was beginning to suck all light and color from the imaginary world. Here was a mind ignited by limitless possibilities of the imagination.

Best Bets


Voting continues through February 28th for the Orlando Sentinel’s Best Bets. I hope you will vote for Analog Artist Digital World in the Best Local Blogger category. They encourage people to nominate in as many categories as possible. Since the list is dauntingly large, I thought I would share my votes. I voted for places I have sketched, and spots that I return to often. This sketch is of Stardust Video and Coffee which I nominated as the Best Local Bar and the Best Local Restaurant to bring clients. This list should give you a running start. Of course mold this list to suit your tastes. For instance you might actually know who the best cosmetic surgeon is in town. If you disagree with any of my Best Bets, let me know!

Best Chain Restaurant……….Firehouse
Best Local Bar……………………Stardust Video & Coffee
Best Local Nightclub ………….I-Bar
Best Local Bar/Restaurant to see Live Music …..Tanqueray’s
Best Local Wine Bar……………Cavanagh’s Fine Wine
Best Local Beer Selection……Redlight Redlight
Best Local Martini Bar………..Bone Fish Grill
Best Local Hole in the Wall….Back Booth
Best Local Happy Hour……….Will’s Pub
Best Local Brunch……………….Dandelion Communitea Cafe
Best Local Burger………………..Hamburger Mary’s
Best Local Steak………………….Dexter’s
Best Local Seafood………………Bonefish Grill
Best Local Pizza…………………..Mellow Mushroom
Best Local BBQ…………………….Bubbalou’s Bodacious BBQ
Best Local Frozen Desert……..Tutti Frutti
Best Local Sushi……………………Amura
Most Local Romantic…………….Social Chameleon
Best Local Thai……………………..Viet Garden
Best Local Cuban…………………..Cuban Sandwiches to go
Best Local Mexican………………..De La Vega’s
Best Local Italian…………………..Antonio’s La Fiamma
Best Local Indian………………….Spice Cafe
Best Local Chinese………………..Ming Court
Best Local Sub Sandwich………Publix
Best Local Wings……………………Buffalo Bill’s Wild Wings
Best Local Vegetarian…………….Loving Hut
Best Local Dessert………………….Rhapsodic Bakery
Best Local Outdoor Dinning…….310 Park South
Best Local Place to Bring Fido…Doggie Door, Winter Park
Best Local Coffee……………………..Austin’s Coffee
Best Local Caterer…………………..Bubbalou’s BBQ
Best Local Restaurant to take Clients…..Stardust Video and Coffee
Best Local Bachelor/bachelorette….Brian Feldman, Hannah Miller
Best Local Gay/Lesbian Bar………The Parliament House
Best Local Radio Personality…….Jim Phillips
Best Orlando Sentinel Columnist…..Matthew Palm
Best Local TV Personality………..Peter Murphy
Best Meteorologist………………….I don’t have time for TV
Best Local Celebrity……………….Mark Baratelli
Best Local Blogger…………Analog Artist Digital World
Best Local Band…………………….Kaleigh Rose Baker and the Absinthe Trio
Best Theme Park Ride…………..Carousel of Progress
Best Water Park……………………Wet and Wild
Best Live Show………………………Orlando Live
Best Annual Event at Theme Park…..Food and Wine Festival Epcot
Best Local Resort………………….Wilderness Lodge
Best Wildlife Encounter…………Manatee Festival Blue Spring State Park
Best Community Festival………Fringe Festival
Best Museum………………………..Orlando Museum of Art
Best Weekend Getaway………..DeLeon Springs
Best Wedding Venue…………….Orlando Shakespeare Theater
Best Golf Course…………………..Bay Hill
Best Movie Theatre………………Enzian Theater
Best Concert Venue………………Plaza Theater
Best Video Gaming Spot……….Aloma Bowl
Best Shopping Mall………………..Mall at Millenia
Best Arts and Crafts Store…….Michael’s
Best Sporting Goods Store…….Bass Pro Shops
Best Home Furnishing Store…Rob and Stucky’s
Best Local Bookstore…………….Bookworm
Best Specialty Food Store……..Rhapsodic Bakery
Best Local Wine/Liquor Store…..Eola Wine Room
Best Day Spa…………………………….Baden Baden Germany
Best Local Hair Salon………………..I cut my own hair
Best Cosmetic Surgeon……………..You are kidding, right?
Best Mens Clothing Store………….The Gap
Best Womens Clothing Store……..The Gap
Best Jewelry Store …………………….P.J. Abramson Inc
Best Department Store………………Stein Mart
Best Discount Department store…..K Mart
Best Shoe Store…………………………The Track Shack
Best Fitness Facility………………….Anytime Fitness
Best Tattoo Parlor…………………….Black Chapel

Going Green the Wong Way


Getting to the Adrienne Arsht Center for the Performing Arts in Miami was an adventure in battling congested urban traffic. Terry and I followed Elaine Pines who was a native Miami dweller. We hoped to get to downtown Miami from Miami Beach in 45 minutes. There were five accidents as we drove down I-95. Traffic slowed to a crawl. We considered scrubbing the whole theater experience since we were running late. Orlando performance artist Brian Feldman was performing in the theater lobby for an hour before Kristina’s Wong’s show. Brian and Kristina had met last summer at Atlantic Center for the Arts in New Smyrna Beach. Terry dropped me off at the theater steps and I jogged inside. I picked up our tickets and then asked the box office assistant where Brian was performing. He looked at me with a blank stare and said, “Brian Feldman? I’m sorry, I don’t recognize the name.” I thanked him anyway and searched the lobby. After I searched in the men’s room (you never know where Brian might perform!), I found him right near the Carnival Studio Theater entrance. Beside him was a 5 gallon gasoline container. Brian lifted the container and took a long drink. Behind him, a large mosaic mural by Cundo Bermudez called “Ways of Performing” decorated the wall. He rested for a bit, coughing between long draughts. The arriving audience patrons that slowly crowded into the lobby never seemed to notice Brian. I, on the other hand, found the image of him sucking down gasoline timely and funny.I knew there wasn’t much time to sketch so I rushed to get lines on the page.

Kristina’s show, Going Green the W0ng Way, directed by Paul Tei, began with an image of Earth projected on a large screen. Hundreds of plastic grocery bags were piled up and toys were lined up along the back of the stage. The show was a no holds barred hilarious experience. She had no problems with self-deprecating humor. Everyone in the audience had a plastic grocery bag on their seat with a water bottle filled with beans that made for a fun alternative to clapping. The first act began with Wong shouting her environmental beliefs into a megaphone to her middle school classmates. She broke into a fast-paced rap that outlined her devotion to Mother Earth.

One of the show’s funniest moments came as she demonstrated the wonders of a reusable tampon called The DivaCup. Her attempts to demonstrate this environmentally friendly product were embarrassingly funny. The story she later told about trying to reduce her carbon footprint by driving a car that ran on vegetable oil was endlessly funny. The car became a money pit, with endless trips to mechanics. She related the inner workings of the LA bus and subway system with so much detail, it became a spoof on how insane the inner workings were. I found it ironic that Terry and I had to battle so much traffic congestion in order to get to the show.

The environmentally friendly messages were driven home with humor. Life’s bittersweet ironies were mined and exposed. The show never missed a beat. I laughed the whole time as I discovered more about Wong and the World she wanted to save. There are two more performances: Saturday, November 20th at 7pm and the same day at 10pm in the Adrienne Arsht Center for the Performing Arts of Miami-Dade County, Carnival Studio Theater (1300 N. Biscayne Blvd. Miami). Cost is $30-35.

2011 Fringe Lottery

The tension was palpable in the circular Patrons Room in the Orlando Shakespeare Theater this Monday night. A single folding table was set up at the front of the room and seats were set up in rows for the anxious crowd of performers, producers, directors and avid Fringe fanatics. For those new to the Fringe experience, it is a 13 day festival founded on the concept of offering 100% unjuried (hence the lottery), 100% uncensored and 100% accessible theater, music, dance, art and madness to all types and ages, where 100% of the box office ticket sales go directly back to the artists. The longest running U.S. Fringe Festival, the misson of Orlando Fringe is to provide an accessible, affordable outlet that draws diverse elements of the community together and inspires creative excellence through the arts. The 20th Annual Orlando International Fringe Theater Festival takes place May 18-30, 2011 in Orlando Loch Haven Park. Nine ticketed venues are located within Orlando Shakes and Orlando Repertory Theatre, along with three Bring Your Own Venues for unique site-specific performances.

Chasmin Hallyburton sat with her laptop open, ready to record the winners of the lottery. Shannon Lacek was in charge of pulling the winning acts from the bucket which was held by Beth Marshall. Beth held up her cell phone and shouted, “Everyone say hello to Brian Feldman who will be tweeting the results from Palo Alto, California!” Everyone shouted, “Hello, Brian.” Once an act was picked from the bucket, Shannon would read the title and then George Wallace would tape the card up on one of the colored poster boards. Each poster board represented a different venue. Some acts drawn from the hat caused massive shouts of delight since performers were in the room. I shouted myself when I heard Dog Powered Robot was going to have its own show! After the lottery was finished, Evan and Christy Miga stopped by to say hello. I expressed how excited I was for them, and then Christy showed me her handbag, and there was Fisher’s tiny furry face. Fisher is the dog behind Dog Powered Robot, and he is a rising star!

I went up to the poster boards and wrote down the shows that had been picked. I couldn’t read my own writing, so check out Orlando Sentinel Theater Critic Matt Palm’s list to start picking the shows you might like to see. So many friends will be performing. Brian Feldman will have an as of yet undisclosed performance in an alternative venue. Jeremy Seghers and Dewey Chaffee, and Voci Dance have shows that remain a mystery. John DiDonna will be directing a dance performance called “Unspoken.” Logan Donahoo shouted for joy when “Trash Cinema 101” was picked. I am so happy for everyone who will be scrambling to push the creative envelope in May 2011. I am busy trying to decide which acts I most want to sketch.

Foul!

It was the opening night season premiere game for the Orlando Magic in the brand spanking new Amway Arena. As I walked toward the venue, two hours early, I saw small crowds of fans dressed in blue and white all along Orange Avenue. Several news helicopters hovered over the city most likely shooting footage of the gathering crowds around the Amway Center. I wasn’t going to sketch the game, I was going to catch Brian Feldman as he read the NBA Rulebook to the crowd. At just about any sports or theatrical event in this town there is always a person on a soapbox shouting hell and damnation to the crowd. Brian’s performance didn’t offer salvation, but enlightenment regarding the rules of the game.

When I arrived, I unfolded my compact artist stool and leaned against a metal pylon getting to work. Brian’s father was using his iPhone to shoot continuous video footage of the reading. The sun set behind a bank of deep blue clouds. Brian shouted the rules into the megaphone. The rules are amazingly repetitive. I thought at first that Brian might be reading the same rule over and over, but listening closely I found the variations in the pattern. Erin Volz in a blue jersey rode up on her bicycle. After listening for a while, she relieved Brian’s dad by taking over the iPhone and shooting video. She remained there listening intently, a true Magic fan.

A policeman approached Brian and the two of them spoke for a while. I couldn’t hear what was said. As Brian got back on his crate, he looked at me and shouted, “Incident!” I started sketching faster adding color to Brian and his dad in case they were told to move along. So far I had escaped detection. A female security officer rode up on a high tech electric tricycle. She spoke to Brian and when he showed her the rulebook, she smiled, laughed then drove off. A third officer, a huge muscular fellow with a motorcycle helmet also approached. He insisted Brian move his crate a foot further west. He said to Brian, “You are blocking pedestrian access to the curb.” He also insisted Brian not use the megaphone. He complied and continued reading and shouted into his cupped hand. I couldn’t hear a thing he read from that point on and I was only ten feet from him. The Center was blasting the insipid commentary from two announcers who were predicting a stellar season for the Magic. The crowd rushed past me growing thicker and louder. I wanted more rules.

I think it was Erin who thought of rolling up a Magic poster, creating a crude paper megaphone. Brian shouted into it, “Thor! Can you hear me?!” The second time he shouted my name, I looked up and gave him a thumbs up. The paper megaphone was only a minor improvement. A couple of times fans paused and listened, never for more than a minute. Perhaps two people ever noticed what I was doing. One woman walked up and said, “Look at you, Mr. etch-a-sketch!” I cringed but gave her the blog address. I finished my sketch long before Brian finished reading the rulebook. I patted Brian’s dad on his shoulder and waved to Brian who continued to read valiantly. I made my way East on Church Street a lone fish swimming against the school of blue and white all heading to the game. My job was done, a slam dunk. Brian said this might be his final Orlando performance in 2010, so something big must be on his horizon. I think route 66 is calling his name.