Visiting Great Aunt Erma Gruhn

By Pam Schwartz

Since April of 2016 I have lost most of my grandparents generation of
relatives: my Great Uncle Hugo at 88, Grandma Rose at 93, Grandma Martha
at 97, Great Aunt Lucille at 98, and my Great Aunt Gladys at 100. 

 I moved to Florida in January 2016 and since then every time I have gone
home, I have done my best to see each of them. This Thanksgiving and
Christmas I spent as much time with my 99 year old Great Aunt Erma (my
father’s aunt) as I could, (a bout with food
poisoning and bad weather were unhelpful) which amounted to about 7-8
hours over both trips. 

During this time Aunt Erma and I talked about many things and I recorded
our conversation as an oral history. Aunt Erma is the matriarch of my
family and that last tie I have to my Grandparents’ generation. Since my
Grandpa Vernon (her brother) died when I
was 3 and my Grandma Martha never remembered, or didn’t share, many
stories of her childhood, I have learned so much from her about them and
it means so much to me. 

It’s amazing how much time you can spend talking to your family members
and then when they pass you still have so many questions. I asked my
Aunt Erma what it was like growing up with her parents and my grandpa. I
find it sad that I never got to meet my great
grandparents, but Aunt Erma only ever met one of her grandparents as the others passed before she was born. 

 On the Thanksgiving trip we talked about her childhood, my great
grandparents, my grandpa (her brother), Christmas at their house, what
they ate and did for fun, my great grandfather having had a ticket on
the Titanic that he (luckily) gave up, she talked of
my great-great uncle’s suicide just months after my great grandfather
came from Germany to join him here in the US leaving him alone as a 14
year old boy to find his way, and more. 

She even told me stories about my mother’s mom that I
wasn’t expecting since it was from the other side of the family. She
described her, Rosie, as always being so jolly and full of fun. It made
my heart melt to hear it,
because that was the grandma that I had always known. Always a smile,
and a twinkle in her eye. She explained that my Grandma Martha had a bit
of a tougher upbringing and so was harder in a way, but said that you
could always count on her to lend a hand, and
bring lunch and a cake over for any illness, hardship, or holiday. And
that too, was how I knew my Grandma Martha, though Erma provided more
insight into Martha’s childhood then I ever thought I’d know. 

 It is hard to pick which stories to tell as so many were told in those
seemingly fast running hours. Tom came with me over Christmas and did
this sketch as Aunt Erma and I discussed her marriage, a falling out
with my grandparents over the family farm, and
the 1958 car accident which horrifically took my Grandma Martha’s
brother and his wife, badly injuring their two children and my
grandfather. 

As many interviews as I have recorded with my family, you can never
capture all of the memories. If you have older loved ones, don’t wait.
Spend time with them, ask questions, and record or write down what they
say.