Saturday, December 7, 2013

How the Mall Stole Christmas

Twas two days past Black Friday and all through the Mall
The shoppers came rushing, around Santa's fake hall,
I began sketching children put on Santa's knee,
giving plenty of time for my wife's shopping spree.

My vantage point was the only one that cost no money,
others gathered here considering the scene quite funny.
The activity was earnest as all waited for a sight,
for this Santa had a real beard to parents delight.

Parents they waited, and fingered their phones,
ignoring their children who screamed and moaned.
From my vantage point I could see the grim scene,
as children were forced to sit, and then screamed.

A photographer's assistant tried to distract them a moment,
using squeeze toys and baubles for the children's enjoyment.
A hot flash blinded, then appeared, a red nose and white beard.
Kids screamed till their lungs burned from all that they feared.

A mom saw Saint Nick sip from his flask,
"I hope that it's water" she told her kids with a gasp.
 The old man put up with photos galore.
Parents and children crowded in for ever more.

Then behind me I heard a mall guard and I swallowed..
Your sketch looks fine, but rules must be followed.
Sketching isn't allowed in this Mall without asking.
Managers are all gone, so you must stop your sketching.

But people shoot pictures all day without stopping.
Only photos of faces should be captured while shopping.
 I texted my wife to let her know I'd been spotted,
I continued to sketch after the mall guard departed.

I left the sketch unfinished and my anger abated,
This season our money would go somewhere art isn't hated.
If you shop in a mall this holiday season,
avoid Mall at Millenia where I'll not shop, for good reason.

Hundreds of dollars of money unspent,
as my wife packed her wallet and back home we went.
Perhaps this year something local I'll buy ,
supporting craftsmen whose talents I'll try.

Prints are available for each sketch for $250 and many originals can be purchased for $400. White museum grade shadow box frames are $100 more. You can e-mail Thor at


Penelope Notes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Thor said...

Dear Mr. Thorspecken, just found your letter,
the poem was brilliant, the artwork much better.
It hurt me to hear of the problem you had
when visiting Santa, and then leaving mad.
But we can't have you artists with sketch pads in hand,
disrupting the calm over Hollyville land.
Your a rowdy, anarchists, a most dangerous bunch,
when I think of you drawing there I belch up my lunch.

It's not that the rules here were made by a Grinch.
The malls not really like that........... well maybe a pinch.
They get carried away every now and again,
looking out for the children, the women, the men.
But we're not with the mall, we're a separate group;
dear Santa, his helpers and photography troupe.
We work endless hours, for the children you see,
to make Christmas special, the way it should it be.

And then after all of our efforts we find
a person like you that was treated unkind.
It's not the way we want you to remember,
your visit to Hollyville any given December.
So here is an invitation to you
to come spend an hour, three, four or two!
Not in the rafters, like Elf on The Shelf,
but down in the trenches, with St. Nick himself!

Please bring your sketch pad your pencils or chalk,
don't waver, or hesitate, don't you dare balk.
You'll be our guest, a welcome addition
to the most crazy world of our Christmas tradition.
Join us up close you have nothing to fear,
Except maybe grandmothers, babies and tears.
Just bring this e-mail so I'll know you on site,
You'll recognize me, with the "bobble and light".

Hope to meet you this season,

Gregg Dobbs
Theme Street Pictures
(The official photographers at The Mall at Millenia)