Monday, October 31, 2011

Zombie Apocalypse

Lindsay arrived at her job as a waitress at Austin's Coffee. She had been held up in traffic crawling down I-4 and her forehead was pounding with a migraine. Running late, she ran to the bathroom and quickly changed into her uniform. She slipped on her black blouse with its snappy white collar then worked the aqua crinoline skirt up over her hips. She had recently washed a coffee stain out of her white frilly apron. She checked herself in the mirror and brushed a bleached blonde curl away from her face.

No one paid attention to the local news playing in the kitchen. A perky newscaster announced, "Patient zero went viral at 6 p.m." Lindsay clicked it off and turned the Radio Dial until she found Johnny Cash. Austin's was packed. Young hipsters sat in booths mesmerized by their computer screens. She took an order for some ice cold coffees not b0thering to look up from her pad. Then out of the corner of her eye she saw someone enter who was different somehow. The girl wore a pair of cut up jeans and a black bra. She looked like a 60's flower child but she was a bit rough around the edges. She limped in and stiffly sat at a round table in the front of the room. "Great." Lindsay thought, "This one isn't going to be a good tipper." Lindsay approached and pulled the spiral bound note pad out of her waist. She pulled the pencil out from behind her ear, licked the lead and rested the sharp tip on the page. "Well, What'll you have?" she said with bored contempt.

The customer had a musky dead rat smell. "Don't hippies take showers anymore?" she thought. Lindsay tried to be polite but she raised her hand up to her nose. She suddenly realized the customer's left cheek was missing. The teeth were clenched and exposed. Suddenly the customer lunged at Lindsay and quickly grabbed her wrist. She screamed and pulled violently back and she heard the bone in her forearm snap. She looked and saw the bone sticking out. Her shoe slipped off in the struggle. In horrific pain she continued to scream until her wind pipe was slit with a serrated knife. One customer looked up from his computer but lost interest in the struggle and returned to Facebook.

Her head dropped to the table. Blood gushed out ruining her uniform. Her eyes stared blankly forward as painful wet noises came from her open neck. A tear rolled from her terror stricken eye. The hippie zombie tried pulling strips of flesh from Lindsay's throat using a fork. The strips of flesh just dangled, never staying on the fork, like so much stubborn spaghetti. Frustrated, she threw the utensils to the floor and sank her teeth into Lindsay's open wound. She hunched over her prey like a lioness.

What she really wanted however was fresh and juicy brain. She smashed a plate on the table and used its sharp jagged edge to cut the curly blonde hair away from the top of her victim's head. She peeled the scalp away from the skull and let it hang down, dripping blood on the floor. She violently smashed the skull with a plate and once she had chipped a small hole in the skull she pushed her index finger inside and starting pulling chips away like she was digging into a large hard boiled egg. She slipped both hands inside the skull gently squeezing the brain as she lifted it out in one piece. The brain made an audible slurping noise as it was yanked free. She severed the spinal cord with her teeth, then she bit deeply into the soft thought filled mess. Blood oozed all over her face dripping down between her breasts.She ate the whole thing in a few very messy wet bites.

The other customers rose from their seats. Moaning, they approached the limp body now crumpled on the floor. All their hands reached out, hungry for fresh meat. A bit of frontal lobe was lying in a pool of blood in front of Lindsay's eyes. A customer lifted it up pinching it between his index finger and thumb with his pinkie raised. He slipped it to the back of his throat like a raw oyster. Dozens of hands searched and clawed ripping and tearing away the fresh pulsing flesh. Blood spurted and knees became soaked in the widening pool of blood.

The Sketchy Broads host a monthly sketching session at Austin's every month. Happy Halloween.

Prints are available for each sketch for $250 and many originals can be purchased for $400. White museum grade shadow box frames are $100 more. You can e-mail Thor at

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