Bitches of the Kingdom

I desperately wanted to see “Bitches of the Kingdom”. The show had won a Patron’s Pick Award and so it had one last performance on Memorial Day. I had met the producers Fiely and Dennis and they were so incredibly gracious. When Terry and I arrived at the Shakespeare Theater lobby, there was already a long line. This time around there was no problem picking up tickets. The line stretched from the entrance of the Margeson Theater all the way to the entryway. A volunteer split the line behind us and then had it wind back down the length of the building down a ramp. Every time someone entered, the volunteer would ask them if they had their tickets and a Fringe badge. He would then direct them to the end of the line.

When we got inside the Margeson, we looked for seats on the side lines so I could be close to the performers. Fiely Matias, the show’s producer and director pointed to two seats that were being saved with yellow programs taped to the seat backs. Terry was pleased and the seats were in a great spot for me to sketch from. I hooked up a book light to my sketchbook so I could sketch when the house lights went down.

The show was a delight from the start. It plays upon the princess complex that is so prevalent in the Disney Animated films. These princesses look beyond “Happily Ever After.” They had attitude. Snow White played by Michelle Knight started things off with a stunning solo. I have seem her perform twice before. She knows how to grab an audience’s attention and hold it from the first note. Her voice is hypnotizing. The music and lyrics were written by Dennis Giacono who sat behind the piano. The lyrics and performances were always laugh out loud funny. Snow White held a note for so long that the audience started to clap. Cinderella played by Brittany Berkowitz LeNoir waited excitedly to begin her song. Snow White hogged the spotlight by extending her song with flashy vocal acrobatics, interrupting Cinderella every time she stepped forward. Snow White sang to a pretty bird on her finger then she gently tossed him in the air and he dropped like a rock. She tried to kick him aside like nothing happened. lt was hilarious.

One of my favorite numbers was “All I want to do is Eat!” Cinderella was on the thin side and any Disney princess seemed to always have a pencil thin waste. At the end of this number Cinderella is so lost in the thought of food, that she shivered orgasmically. Belle covered her eyes while the other princesses raised an eyebrow. The song ended with Cinderella getting close to the microphone and taking a rapturous crunch of a potato chip.

Another funny number was “Big Tits.” Snow White dominated this number with a sassy, sensual performance that stressed the power she held over any Prince Charming. As she put it, “Do I look like I have to wait for my prince to cum?” After a moments pause the audience roared. Early rehearsals demonstrate much of the charm and magic that was brought to life with today’s cast. I can’t brag enough about this production. I hope it has a long life in increasingly larger venues. These bitches rule!

3 thoughts on “Bitches of the Kingdom

  1. Thanks for the awesome review, Thomas! So wonderful to have you in the audience – an honor! Will pass along the kind words and the fantastic rendering to the 'BITCHES!' Thanks again – we're in awe of your talent and how you're able to catch a 'vibe' and a 'feeling' and bring it to life through art! Cheers! (Fiely & Dennis – OOPS GUYS)

  2. Hi Thomas! My family and I also loved Bitches. It was hilarious. Do you sell your sketches? I would love to purchase you original Bitches sketch.

  3. The original sketch is "landlocked in a sketchbook. I could make a print on watercolor paper with centerfold removed and some touchups for $200. Let me know if you are interested.

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