Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Fringe 0pening Night Gala Show

The Fringe Gala Show was hosted by the Oops Guys, Dennis Giacino and Fiely Matias. They introduced a game show spoof entitled, "Drop your Balls!" This was an adult themed game show, so parents don't let your children read this post! The five contestants were introduced and they sat in metal folding chairs in a neat line. Each contestant was given a clear nylon sack with several colorful balls. The sacks were tied to the contestants belts and they dangled between their legs. The rules were simple. At the end of the evening, the contestant with the most balls would win.

First in line for the brave contestants was an eating challenge. The challenges included, down that banana, spread the icing, suck a Twinkie or go down on Little Debbie. The first contestant was David Lee who is in the Pulitzer prize winning Fringe show titled, "Thom Paine" in the yellow venue. To find his challenge David had to "Spin the Asian" which involved gently pushing Fiely allowing him to spin in place. When he decided to stop spinning, he announced, "Suck that twinkie!" A chair was bought out to center stage and a plastic drop cloth was spread out on the floor with help from Katie Thayer dressed in a sexy red dress and knee high red leather high heel boots. She turned out to be from the show, "Big Swinging Dick's Topless Bar and Naked Drag Queen Farting!" a hilarious show written by Carl F. Gauze in the green venue. The twinky was placed on the chair and gentle music began to play with the chirping of birds. David removed the Twinky from its wrapper, then he re-wrapped the twinky theatrically in the drop cloth implying he would only perform the act if it was done safely. He shouted, "This kind of reminds me of a Lucille Ball sketch." He was awarded two balls for his performance.

Kevin J. Thornton from the show "I Love You, Were Fucked" was given the challenge to, "Down that Banana." He turned his back to the audience as he gently peeled the banana which he held at his crotch. He then got on his back and lifted his legs and hips touching his toes way above his head. He then lowered his hips until he was able to nip off the tip of the banana. I wasn't aware a person's back muscles could stretch that much! The crowd went wild! He was awarded 3 balls.

Rob Gee who is in "Smart Arse" was given the challenge to "Lick that Pie." He teased the pie by gently tapping it at first with his index finger until the crowd couldn't take it anymore. He licked the red filling once and then devoured the pie in one ravenous mouth filled, masticating gulp. Lisa Sleeper was the only woman contestant. She plays Sleeping Beauty in "Bitches of the Kingdom" which is a musical satire about the pissed off princess' of the Disney classics. Lulu Picart sang a song from the show. She plays Mulan. Since I worked so hard on that film with pride, doing so much overtime, I listened intently. The song was lyrical as she sang about how Asian girls are beautiful with those blossoms in their hair. But then she wondered why she was the only princess who didn't get the guy. She realized she might be a lesbian. Fairy tails might be fine with some Gertrude Stein! Now this was a twist I didn't expect, but I loved it, as did the audience! So Lisa had to contend with some sloppy banana action, she slipped the peeled banana in and out of her mouth multiple times before she dipped it in whipped cream and took a big ravenous bite. She was awarded two balls.

Pepe, who was there representing for Kids Fringe, was hilarious in every challenge. When asked to demonstrate how to give a flyer to an unsuspecting Fringe patron, Pepe provocatively insisted the audience member grab the flyer from his crotch with their teeth. When it came time for the contestants to count their balls, Pepe's sack split open spilling all his balls on the stage. When his balls were collected, Pepe was the winner with eight balls.

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